Lately I have been having such a hard time. Though I didn't take the time to sit down and think about why I thought this was a hard time. All I could think about is that I am really upset right now. Yesterday, I finally figured out what was going on (at least I hope so). Whether it was Satan, or just my human nature attacking me, I don't know. The problem was/is things that are completely out of my control. I work hard on my job and I work hard on my school work, but even when I was working hard things seemed to not go according to plan. I have been known to not be a very hard worker in the past and I paid for it. I guess that the problem here was that I was working hard, but I seemed to be paying the price for not working hard. Kids were leaving the youth group, I was not getting all of my homework done, and it seemed very rare indeed that I could formulate a plan in my mind and stick to it. Therefore, everytime things failed to go according to plan, I thought of myself as a failure.
All this came to spilling out yesterday to my preacher, my wife and my God. Once it had all spilled out though, I realized that all of these things are out of my control. If I am doing my best, it is near impossible to improve on that. Sure, other people might be able to do better than me, but I cannot compare myself to them. I must realize my limitations and let God work where I cannot. I am trying to take to heart what Christ said in the Gospel of Matthew, "Don't worry about tomorrow." I am just going to do my best and lot God handle the rest.
I am so thankful to God that he revealed this to me. I just hope that he continues to reveal little jewels of wisdom to me so that I can continue to grow.
3 comments:
Dude, if you give it all you have, know that God is pleased with you for that. I believe you owe it to yourself to just accept that and not worry what you can't do. Keep up the hard work!
I would echo what Denver said, but also, find a way to work smarter, not harder. Pay attention to yourself, and your abilities, and mold your program around what you are best at. Focusing on what has done good at someone else's church is the downfall of too many good ministers. God bless you.
Hey! You talked to me as well! What you wrote is exactly how I felt before talking to you. I know you will always be there for me and you can always help me throuhg my problems. (Especially if you are going through the same thing at the same time.) I hope you realize what you lead me to realize: You can't always control
every thing but there is some one who does.
Caitlin
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