I seem to be jumping from here to there. I was all set and ready to drop my class at one point and then I thought well maybe I can stick it out. Then I started working on stuff again for class and realized that I was so far behind that I could in no way catch up. Well, I called my advisor to drop my class and by being sent to several different people, I realized that if I drop my class, I would end up having to pay over $400 dollars. First there are no refunds if you drop a class 3 weeks after the beginning of classes. Second, they would drop my scholarship because I would not be enrolled in 6 hours (my scholarship is $50 per credit hour), so that is $300, and $150 of it would be money for a class that I am not even taking. Last, I would have felt obligated to pay the $120 that my church paid for the class that I was going to drop. All that equals, $420. Wow! Who would have known that I would end up paying that much just to drop a class!
The long and short of it is, I am going to stick it out. I am just going to work as hard as I can to make it through this semester, and then, I am going to take only one class a semester from now on.
The news on my test that I had to take on Tuesday is that it was not too bad. I didn't do great, but I don't think I failed. I'll just have to do better on future tests. I also finished my paper on time and I think it actually was a pretty good paper.
Well, time to start on my school work!
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Great Intentions
I have great intentions but sometimes they don't work out. There are so many things that I have planned on and still plan on doing. I planned on learning guitar and becoming good enough to bring it to a camp out and play camp songs and get people to sing along by the fire. I plan on staying in shape so that whenever I do get a chance to climb a mountain or go snowboarding I can enjoy it. I planned on finishing undergraduate school. I planned/plan on being a minister of the Gospel of Christ. Most of those things I have done and still plan on doing. But one thing lately that has not gone as planned is my graduate school experience.
You saw my frustration last week in my previous post. Well, I worked so hard on trying to get all of that stuff done. I was in my office close to 9 hours a day, (starting at 7 and ending around 6 with a two hour break for lunch and some exercise) studying for my test, reading, putting youth classes together and working on an essay. I have spent nearly 15 hours working on graduate work this week and my work is barely half-way done. I thought maybe I could just do it if I made a plan and stuck to it. But it just didn't work. Great intentions. Maybe I am just a slow reader, or maybe I don't understand as quickly as others. Maybe I need more sleep than others. Or maybe I am not cut out for graduate work. I don't know. All I do know is that I am not going to quit. I may have to drop one of my two classes this semester and go at a slower pace, but I will not quit. I have quit in the past but I no longer want that to be part of my personality.
You saw my frustration last week in my previous post. Well, I worked so hard on trying to get all of that stuff done. I was in my office close to 9 hours a day, (starting at 7 and ending around 6 with a two hour break for lunch and some exercise) studying for my test, reading, putting youth classes together and working on an essay. I have spent nearly 15 hours working on graduate work this week and my work is barely half-way done. I thought maybe I could just do it if I made a plan and stuck to it. But it just didn't work. Great intentions. Maybe I am just a slow reader, or maybe I don't understand as quickly as others. Maybe I need more sleep than others. Or maybe I am not cut out for graduate work. I don't know. All I do know is that I am not going to quit. I may have to drop one of my two classes this semester and go at a slower pace, but I will not quit. I have quit in the past but I no longer want that to be part of my personality.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Misery
There are very few times in my life that I have been miserable. The first time was my first few days at OC. My parents dropped me off and I had no friends and my roommate was a jerk.
Another time was when I had food poisoning. I could not eat normal meals for four days and I lost about 10 lbs. I could not stand up without feeling slightly dizzy and nauseated.
The third time was when I twisted my ankle so badly that I could not play sports for 2 months. (I had to take up bike riding instead! Yuck!)
Another time was when I could not poop for 5 days! Yikes. I felt like I was going to explode!
I have officially run into another time like those. This week, I have about 200 pages to read. This is not just any reading either. This is reading in huge books in which it takes me an hour to read between 10 and 15 pages. I also have a test to study that covers over 600 pages of reading (of which I have only read about half). Plus, I have another 100 pages of reading for my other class and a 2000-2200 word essay to write. My life is in the pit of despair! (not really) But man, I am going to have no time at all this week.
The only consolation I have is that next week at this time, it will all be over. Whether it results in failure of test and a late paper is yet to be seen. You probably won't be hearing from me in the next week...
Josh out
Another time was when I had food poisoning. I could not eat normal meals for four days and I lost about 10 lbs. I could not stand up without feeling slightly dizzy and nauseated.
The third time was when I twisted my ankle so badly that I could not play sports for 2 months. (I had to take up bike riding instead! Yuck!)
Another time was when I could not poop for 5 days! Yikes. I felt like I was going to explode!
I have officially run into another time like those. This week, I have about 200 pages to read. This is not just any reading either. This is reading in huge books in which it takes me an hour to read between 10 and 15 pages. I also have a test to study that covers over 600 pages of reading (of which I have only read about half). Plus, I have another 100 pages of reading for my other class and a 2000-2200 word essay to write. My life is in the pit of despair! (not really) But man, I am going to have no time at all this week.
The only consolation I have is that next week at this time, it will all be over. Whether it results in failure of test and a late paper is yet to be seen. You probably won't be hearing from me in the next week...
Josh out
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Why are things important to us?
This is a question that has haunted my mind for some time. Why do some guys prefer blond, burnett, or in my case strawberry blond? Why do some people play golf and others go fishing? Why do some people spend so much time and money working out, putting on make-up, getting the right clothes, etc., while others are perfectly content with just looking normal? Why do some people love sports so much that they watch ESPN sportscenter non-stop, and when they are not watching that, they are watching a game of some sort while others really do not care for sports or sportscenter for that matter. Why do some people keep their houses clean while others live in a pig pen? Why do some people love God, but others hate him?
This is a very tough question that I have raised, and I don't even know if I can answer it, but I am going to try and maybe with the input of you people out there, we can come to a conclusion. There is a huge amount of factors that go into the importance of things in our lives. The first factor is our culture. Culture seems to have a certain set of norms that it tries to place on everybody. It seems to tell us quite often that the tanned and toned, skinny body in which you can see every rippling muscle is better than the the regular every day body. Most of us do not have a regular membership to a tanning spa, nor can we spend 2 hours a day working out in a gym.
The second factor is our background and how we are taught. There are certain things that brought us joy all through our younger years. Maybe it was sitting down and watching sports with your dad, then watching sports brings back those times just beneath your subconscious. Or maybe for you ladies it was primping with your mom. Maybe you would sit down with her sometimes and she would put make-up on you and you would "fix" her hair. Maybe in your past you had a memorable experience, whether good or bad, with an adult after which you vowed to either pass the tradition on or never to act that way to another human being as long as you live. Maybe your parents sat down with you every night and read the Bible to you and prayed with you. They showed you what true Christianity could do for a family. Or maybe you grew up in a home in which religion had no part and your parents taught you that you don't take no crap from anybody, period. All these experiences in our backgrounds contribute to what we see as important.
The third factor is payoffs. You may wonder what I mean by 'payoffs.' I will try to explain. Anything that caused good things to happen to you, or at least things that you viewed as good, is obviously something worth repeating. And anything you did or tried to do that caused pain or hurt is not something you want to repeat. In other words, if you went out on the football field during your freshmen year of high school and you got pummeled, you may decide to never lace up your cleats again. On the other hand, if you got out there and you ended up being a cotributing factor on the team, you might just play all four years of high school.
I am sure that there are many other factors that contribute to the amount of importance that we assign different things in our lives. However, I believe that these are probably the main ones (please feel free to comment on this idea). But while looking at these factors, I come to one conclusion. There are no absolutes in any of them. Our culture, our background, and what brings us a payoff could all be wrong (I feel that no further comment needs to be made considering this statement, however, if I need to expound let me know). I am reminded of the first graduate class that I took at Oklahoma Christian University. While in under grad, I could usually wait until the last minute to start working on assignments because I was a hard worker, a fast reader, and I could accomplish rather large things in small amounts of time. I entered graduate school and I found this not to be true. I tried to read seven books in 3 weeks and it just didn't work! All this brings us to one question: How do we find out what the true importance is of all things if these three factors that all of us experience are imperfect? I believe that this question inevitably leads us to a higher power. In my case, I believe that through a combination of prayer, reading the word of God, and fellowshipping with the People of God I will always be learning more about the most important things in this life.
I hope that through these three things, God's Word, His people, and prayer, that we can constantly evaluate and examine the things that we assign importance to. Make sure that you are not a slave of your culture, your background, or your payoffs, but instead be a servant to Christ. Paul writes this about himself and other great preachers of the faith, " So then, men ought to regard us as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the secret things of God."
-1 Corinthians 4:1
This is a very tough question that I have raised, and I don't even know if I can answer it, but I am going to try and maybe with the input of you people out there, we can come to a conclusion. There is a huge amount of factors that go into the importance of things in our lives. The first factor is our culture. Culture seems to have a certain set of norms that it tries to place on everybody. It seems to tell us quite often that the tanned and toned, skinny body in which you can see every rippling muscle is better than the the regular every day body. Most of us do not have a regular membership to a tanning spa, nor can we spend 2 hours a day working out in a gym.
The second factor is our background and how we are taught. There are certain things that brought us joy all through our younger years. Maybe it was sitting down and watching sports with your dad, then watching sports brings back those times just beneath your subconscious. Or maybe for you ladies it was primping with your mom. Maybe you would sit down with her sometimes and she would put make-up on you and you would "fix" her hair. Maybe in your past you had a memorable experience, whether good or bad, with an adult after which you vowed to either pass the tradition on or never to act that way to another human being as long as you live. Maybe your parents sat down with you every night and read the Bible to you and prayed with you. They showed you what true Christianity could do for a family. Or maybe you grew up in a home in which religion had no part and your parents taught you that you don't take no crap from anybody, period. All these experiences in our backgrounds contribute to what we see as important.
The third factor is payoffs. You may wonder what I mean by 'payoffs.' I will try to explain. Anything that caused good things to happen to you, or at least things that you viewed as good, is obviously something worth repeating. And anything you did or tried to do that caused pain or hurt is not something you want to repeat. In other words, if you went out on the football field during your freshmen year of high school and you got pummeled, you may decide to never lace up your cleats again. On the other hand, if you got out there and you ended up being a cotributing factor on the team, you might just play all four years of high school.
I am sure that there are many other factors that contribute to the amount of importance that we assign different things in our lives. However, I believe that these are probably the main ones (please feel free to comment on this idea). But while looking at these factors, I come to one conclusion. There are no absolutes in any of them. Our culture, our background, and what brings us a payoff could all be wrong (I feel that no further comment needs to be made considering this statement, however, if I need to expound let me know). I am reminded of the first graduate class that I took at Oklahoma Christian University. While in under grad, I could usually wait until the last minute to start working on assignments because I was a hard worker, a fast reader, and I could accomplish rather large things in small amounts of time. I entered graduate school and I found this not to be true. I tried to read seven books in 3 weeks and it just didn't work! All this brings us to one question: How do we find out what the true importance is of all things if these three factors that all of us experience are imperfect? I believe that this question inevitably leads us to a higher power. In my case, I believe that through a combination of prayer, reading the word of God, and fellowshipping with the People of God I will always be learning more about the most important things in this life.
I hope that through these three things, God's Word, His people, and prayer, that we can constantly evaluate and examine the things that we assign importance to. Make sure that you are not a slave of your culture, your background, or your payoffs, but instead be a servant to Christ. Paul writes this about himself and other great preachers of the faith, " So then, men ought to regard us as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the secret things of God."
-1 Corinthians 4:1
Monday, September 12, 2005
Random thoughts...
My wife and I just returned from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico on Saturday night (actually 2:30 a.m. Sunday morning). We had a wonderful time. After returning I felt well-rested and re-energized. I was ready to get back to work and I was actually excited. I haven't been excited about work for a couple of months now. I was sick of the teenagers and their problems and complaints all of the time. I was emotionally drained. I didn't really realize how tired I actually was until I was driving home on Saturday night. I felt aware and awake. I was ready for anything and I had lots of energy. I felt like I could drive all night. It was at that point that I realized I hadn't felt that energy in myself for some time. Vacations are a needed part of a minister's life for recuperation and restoration. I hadn't had regular times with God for about 2 months because I was just so exhausted all of the time. I can't believe how worn out I was. I have decided from this point on that I am going to be careful about how much strength I dole out. I used to believe that I had an endless supply but I now realize that I do not. But on the other side of that issue, I know that I need to trust in God when I don't have the strength. Sometimes I don't have a choice.
There has been an issue on my heart lately that I have been wanting to express. The issue is sin. How do we in our individualistic American culture deal with sin? The answer is obvious. We deal with it individually! We sin and then we think, I need to deal with this. So we pray, read God's word and ask for forgiveness. This is incredibly Biblical, yet, it is also incredibly unbiblical. God's Word clearly states we are to use His Word, and His Spirit to overcome sin. But that is not all we are to use! We are also to use each other! We must confess our sins to each other. Only then is God's plan of overcoming sin fulfilled. We cannot overcome sin unless we confess to each other and God, pray for forgiveness and use his word as our spiritual sword. This plan is so simple, yet the application of the plan is near impossible for prideful, individualized Americans! If churches would follow this Biblical model the church would be revolutionized. We would be more unified, less hypocritical, and more empathetic of sinners. There would be a common theme of a church full of sinners saved by God's grace and mercy! I think this vision is something that more people would want to be part of and participate in.
Well, there, I got it off of my chest. Time to do homework! Yeah buddy.
There has been an issue on my heart lately that I have been wanting to express. The issue is sin. How do we in our individualistic American culture deal with sin? The answer is obvious. We deal with it individually! We sin and then we think, I need to deal with this. So we pray, read God's word and ask for forgiveness. This is incredibly Biblical, yet, it is also incredibly unbiblical. God's Word clearly states we are to use His Word, and His Spirit to overcome sin. But that is not all we are to use! We are also to use each other! We must confess our sins to each other. Only then is God's plan of overcoming sin fulfilled. We cannot overcome sin unless we confess to each other and God, pray for forgiveness and use his word as our spiritual sword. This plan is so simple, yet the application of the plan is near impossible for prideful, individualized Americans! If churches would follow this Biblical model the church would be revolutionized. We would be more unified, less hypocritical, and more empathetic of sinners. There would be a common theme of a church full of sinners saved by God's grace and mercy! I think this vision is something that more people would want to be part of and participate in.
Well, there, I got it off of my chest. Time to do homework! Yeah buddy.
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